(3)

Let's skip forward even more
My planet's dominant species were a race of sentient squids
I was one of them
Science advanced, because religion was shunned across the entire planet, our tech was magnificent
But then, the worst possible outcome occurred
I remember it like yesterday
A man became well known
His name was Nightshade
He became ruler of my planet, Tactelen
He seemed to like me
I was his top scientist and warrior
But then, he started a genocide campaign
He launched a flurry of nukes across the planet
I fled
I hastily turned the small city I owned into a 1-mile long escape pod
I escaped in the nick of time
I was in orbit, when something truly odd happened
A teleportation spiral, constructed from solid nitrogen was spotted
It had a USB port
This was getting stranger and stranger
So, I did the most intelligent possible thing anyone could have done in that situation
I attached a USB cord to my city
I placed the cord connector in the USB port on the spiral
Suddenly, the entire city was in another spot in the universe
And it was hurtling towards a planet
"Well, we're fucked" I said after being alerted of the new information